After reading Emma's post on nice guys finishing last I wanted to add my own contribution to the topic. I know a lot of nice guys and they all seem to be losing out (except my boyfriend of course).
Most of them simply don't get the girls they like because they are too nice or too clingy. They want commitment and to think about the future. My boyfriend, a prime example is 23 and after a year together he already has plans about where he and us will be when he is 30 and 40. Most of it is career plans but he is already broody. he was mentioning weddings and babies about 6months in. Now this doesn't bother me too much because I made the first move and because I know I want all that with him one day but if your an independent woman and your man starts talking babies it can be scary.
I think the main problem with 'nice guys' is they meet the wrong sort of girls too. Girls seem to go through a phase of looking for fun and bad guys then they get realistic. They know you can't stay with a bad guy all your life. I think that guys do this too although some guys and girls seem to skip the risky stage. Nice guys need to find the good girls to match them.
I think the reason girls go for bad guys, coming back to the module objectives, are for the excitement, uncertainty, risk and because the bad guys have this weird charisma. You really know you shouldn't but something inside makes you long to be with them.
It is bad in many ways not just emotional, I mean you don't know where he's been so unless you are safety conscious you could pick up any number of nastys if you get as far as sex (see R U thinking).
I think the answer is nice guys with (what i call) a wild side. Love and lust all in the same person. It takes longer to find person like this but I believe its worth it.
Finally in answer to Emma's question: "Am I the only girl who likes it this way? I am I the only one who after 12 months or so in a relationship just gets terrified of comfort and craves lust rather than love?"
No your not but I think that is a commitment thing, everyone is afraid of being hurt and it's safer not to commit then you won't get hurt. We all get bored and need a change some people more than others. maybe try to make the relationship you've gone more exciting than look for a new one.
Look at me getting all agony aunt! I'll finish now because otherwise I will start thinking I know everything. One final point: Good guys do seem to get a bad deal but they will get there in the end, just get out and meet lots of people.
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